Through break up, i am slowly learning that my feelings can be
deceitful and don't always make the right decisions. For this moment, my heart
still healing and sometimes fear of being broken again.
I am exhausted from overthinking and trying to figure out what
everything means. Tired of reading too much signs and trying to understand what
the universe is trying to tell me. Tired of asking myself too much question
I'll never have the answer to. But thankfully, in this situation I have someone
to trust. Someone who handles everything I can't.
I have God.
I am slowly understand how to trust him over my feelings. Learning
to follow him over my heart and how to live beyond my feelings, the life that I
know and the lesson I've learned and experienced. I'm slowly learning that my
feelings can be transient because they're attached on to certain moment /
people, they are always dependent on my current state of mind and I'm learning
that if I want to have a calm and stable life, I can't give in to my feelings
yet I have to surrender to God, his plan and his timing.
In 2018, I'm not going to try to interfere with HIS plan. I'm not
going into close doors. I'm letting HIM to guide me instead of following my
feelings. I'll pray more and fill my heart with HIS love. I'm letting go of my
expectations or things or people and trusting God. I'm trusting God's judgment
because mine is flawed.
I am wishing for the best. I'll stop saying "Why God?"
and start looking at the lessons he's trying to teach me. I'll start being
positive about my future because if God is writting my story, then it will
surely be a beautiful one. It may not be an easy one, but I know it has a happy
ending. I know it’s filled with dreams coming true and wishes being
granted and miracles finding their way to me. I know it’s going to be a story
worth living. I know it’s going to be a story of defeat leading to
victory. A story of heartbreak followed by love. A story of despair turning
into hope.
In 2018, I’m counting on God to make me whole again. I’m done
trying to do it myself. I’m done trying to pretend like I know what’s best for
me when I have the ultimate teacher waiting
for me to put all my faith in him and let him work his magic.
Lets rock 2018! I am ready :)
