Focusing on finding this "One" person somewhere out there can be an early setup not only for relationship failure. If one thing doesn't fit or when you start having problems, its easy to dismiss the person and believe that there's someone even better out there. When you're in the early stages of a relationship, its natural to overemphasize the positive and downplay any negatives, but when the infatuation wears off, you see your partner more realistically including their faults. And what happens when problems pop up? Common beliefs I've learned :
" I'm just with the wrong person."
"Maybe there's someone better out there."
"Things would be different with someone else."
"He/She is not my soulmate."
The reality is no matter who you are with, you will have problems. It's impossible for two people to always agree in every situation ; we're too unique for that too happen. Since problem are inevitable, what it means for you when you're dating is to date with the mindset of " What can I live with? What can I compromise on? For example, one person you date may be chronically late, another may drink a little more than you're comfortable with, and another may want to spend more time with you than you want with them. You may have to determine whether behaviors such as these are deal breakers or if you can live with them or find a workable compromise.
So instead of looking for "The One", look for a "Good One". A man who will treat you well, accept who you are, listen to your needs, and willing to compromise. Obviously, you need to be this kind of person as well. You can't be too rigid, want things your way, think you are always right and expect to be in a happy relationship.
Respect each others difference and manage them so both can feel like you can win when conflict arises.
